Stalking

Learn about stalking and how to find help for yourself or a friend.

What is stalking?

Stalking is a series of actions directed toward an individual person that can cause that person to feel afraid or in danger. Stalking is serious and can escalate over time.

A stalker can be someone who's a stranger to you, but most often it's someone you know. About 4 out of 5 women know their stalkers.

Most often, stalkers are boyfriends or ex-boyfriends, classmates, acquaintances, friends, or co-workers.¹ Generally, most cases involve men stalking women, but men do stalk men, women do stalk women, and women do stalk men.

Common stalking behaviors

Repeated telephone calls to your home or office, including hanging up, voicemail messages, or text messages
Unsolicited gifts, cards, notes, letters, e-mails, or internet communication
Repeated driving by or hanging around your home, school, or workplace
Vandalizing your home, car, or your personal possessions
Unexpected appearances at places you frequent (work, grocery store, gym, school)
Threatening to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets
Searching public and private records, going through your mail or garbage, or contacting your friends and family to gain your personal information
Other actions that may scare, track, or frighten you

When it happens to you

Stalking is an unpredictable, dangerous, and traumatic experience which can cause considerable stress and anxiety. No two stalking experiences are alike and victims with similar experiences can react to stalking in different ways.

It is important to remember that you are not to blame for a stalker's behavior.

Common reactions to being stalked can include:

Intense feelings of fear or terror
Feeling vulnerable, unsafe, and unable to trust people
Anxiety, irritability, and anger
Avoiding school, work, or your friends and family
Sadness, hopelessness, and crying
Feeling confused, frustrated, or isolated because others don't understand why you're afraid

Find help

If you're in immediate danger, call 911 immediately.

If you're an undergraduate, graduate, or international student at UCSD, call the Sexual Assault & Violence Prevention Resource Center (SARC), (858) 534-5793, for counseling, help devising a safety plan, and referral to other services, including seeking a protective order.

Hotlines:

San Diego County Stalking Hotline, (619) 515-8900
National Center for Victims of Crime Hotline, 1-800-FYI-CALL (394-2255); Mon.-Fri. 8:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. EST

Online resources

^{¹ Fisher, Bonnie S., Francis T. Cullen and Michael G. Turner, Research Report “The Sexual Victimization of College Women.” U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, NCJ 182369, December 2000.}